Mixed Feelings....

Entry by Mumy

Yesterday was my routine check up on Xenzel and I was informed that I might due any moment. Yes, no joke, ANY MOMENT cos I show sign of dilation already! I was like "WHAT!" I'm merely into my 37 weeks. Don't tell me about it. I'm not ready yet. I'm seriously worried of going into labour that early not bcos of pain but I still have a lot of unfinished biz to deal with be it at home or at work.

As much as I'd like to accomplish all those unfinished tasks, there are always bound to have obstacle that hinder the process. My top priority is to successfully find a house for my parents to move near me and I seriously hope to get some good news by this week. House hunting has been going on for like more than a month and everything is futile. I really don't know why......it's either we don't like the house or seller/agent's problem. I had never viewed so many flats in my entire life. My belief in destiny and fate is very strong and I'd classify the reason for not able to get a decent house under this category.

Next, I hope to get everything ready at home as I still have 20% to complete but with too little time cos I need to be at my work place no matter what as I need to cover the duty for my colleague who will be away for holiday from today till next week. SO pls, no labour day till next week, okie? Did u hear me, Xenzel?

I must get my work appraisal done by today else will have to return back to work place to get it settled during my maternity leave should I go into labour early which I'm quite reluctant to even think about it. I have started dreading to go back to work cos every morning of walking has put extreme pain on my pelvic and extreme pressure on my 2 feet. It seems as if I have to drag both my feet to work cos I'm beginning to feel the heaviness of lifting my feet which explains my recent clumsiness and retard agility cum reflexes.

This 3rd round of pregnancy is not a swift. I do feel guilty at times for not being able to communicate to Xenzel more and enjoy his presence inside me. I failed to stop and listen to him like I did for my 2 previous round. I have lotsa worries and concern and all these are taking a toil on me. I have 2 active preschoolers to tend to as well as worrying over a lot of issues. Xenzel is very active and I have contractions everyday with night being the worse. His movements can really wake me up in the middle of the night followed by intense contractions for a while. I guess this little fella is warming up for the day to come.

My gynae suggested that I take a slower pace of life now, minimise movement, relax more and go easy on eating. Well, luckily hubby will be on leave till August, hence he can help to send royal highness to school every morning. This will help to cut down a lot of movement for me which I find it a great relief.

Enough hear of my ramblings, I sincerely hope I can have everything settled so as to get peace of mind.